I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
