toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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