Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
