It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Are we still banned from the library?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Randomize
