i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
