So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
