thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Dick very happy bro
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
