Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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