she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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