im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Randomize
