and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Randomize
