Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
