Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize