Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Be still, my beating vagina.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
