Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Randomize