There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
