Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Randomize
