she kept yelling 'call me bella'
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
