how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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