Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
