i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
