im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
