My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize