y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
