Jerry, you need to find god
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
