Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
