I feel like I'm in dance class right now
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
