Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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