That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
