My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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