Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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