pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I wish you could order shots online.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
