I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
