That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
