I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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