I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
