He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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