tell your sister to shave her snatch
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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