You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
