Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I know her cup size but not her name....
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