38 yer olds are good kisserssss
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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