just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
