I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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