Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
