apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
The Olympian is in my bed
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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