look no pants
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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