too bad you live with your parents still
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Are we still banned from the library?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Randomize
