why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize