he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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