Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
try to milk me bitch
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
