Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
