Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Randomize
