people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
