too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize