Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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