Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
