I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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