We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
birth control should be required to get into college
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Semen is not good for contacts.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Randomize
