I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Randomize
