Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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