OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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