Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
We need a shit load of segways right now
I got inside last night via doggy door
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
