I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
