i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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