I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
