so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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