I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
