wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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