I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
