16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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