He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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