I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
