I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
