i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
