capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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