At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
