i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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