hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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