You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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