I accidentally had phone sex last night
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
