So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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