the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
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